My Word of the Year

Have you noticed the trend lately of folks picking a
word of the year?
Me too.  It seems like a lot of people are choosing a word to inspire them and sum up the things they want to do and who they want to become in the next 365 days.
As I started thinking about that, one thing kept coming to mind.  One thing I want need to change.
It probably doesn’t come across much on the blog, but one of the biggest things that holds me back from doing things I know I could/should/would like to do in life is
I have a fear of the unknown, a fear of things I can’t control.  Much of it {I think} goes all the way back to when I was in kindergarten.  In that same year, I had to process two tragedies.  First, the Challenger exploded and our teacher had to explain that none of the astronauts we’d learned about would ever come home.  Then, a five-year-old classmate contracted meningitis and died.  Five. years. old.  She was just like me.  They told us she went to sleep and never woke up.  For years I was terrified to sleep.
Now, as an adult, that fear of death has manifested itself in hypochondria…just ask the people closest to me how many times I’ve experienced some slight symptom and been convinced that I have a horrible disease.  And, of course, it manifests itself in making me afraid to take risks, even ones that some people don’t think twice about. 
For example, I’ve always been terrified to fly.  I also never learned to swim.
It’s not easy to talk about…in fact, I’ve gone back and forth a million times about whether I even wanted to post this {after all, there’s nothing like sharing your biggest insecurity with 700 of your ‘closest friends’}… but I think that getting it out there and tackling it head on is the only way to beat it once and for all.  Which I need to do.  Because fear keeps me from living life to the fullest and experiencing all that God has for me.  As a teenager, I won a trip to Memphis through the 4-H program, but backed out at the last minute because I knew I couldn’t get on the plane.  As a young adult, I couldn’t bring myself to fly across the country to Washington State for the wedding of my best friend.  The bridesmaid dress is still hanging in my closet, and the regret is still hanging in my heart.
She knew me well enough to “understand,” but I know it hurt her even more than it hurt me not to be there.  If I could re-make one choice in my life, that would be the one.
I know that living a life of fear isn’t what God intends for me.  So,
 I’ve decided that my word for 2012 is…
I’m going to take fear and kick its butt.
And I started on New Year’s Day.
Little Crafter, hubby, and I took a 2 1/2 minute helicopter ride over Myrtle Beach…a doubly freaky prospect for me{remember, I can’t swim!}.
Little Crafter wasn’t a bit afraid, which was just what I wanted.  I want him to face his future with courage and strength…a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline, as my new life-verse says.
 Shortly before takeoff I asked Little Crafter {whose prayers have proven quite effective} to pray for me and he did.
Dear Jesus, please help Mommy not to be af-waid.  Amen.”
Up we went, and you know what?  My fear left.  Completely.

 The view was absolutely breathtaking.  It was like, “Hello, sky!  Where have you been all my life?”
In the office where you paid for your ride, they had a quote on the wall.
“For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return.” – Leonardo DaVinci
Before we took off, I laughed and thought, “For once I have tasted flight, I will probably pee my pants.”  But after we landed, I knew exactly what he meant.
So did LC, who wanted to ride “again.”  All of us wished we had chosen a longer flight.
Next time we will.
So, this year, will you help me as a pursue a life of faith and courage?  If you catch me being chicken, call me on it and give me a {loving} kick in the pants.  Remind me of my life verse.
I’m counting on you.

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  1. I am so glad I found your blog!! I linked up to the party for the first time yesterday and am your newest follower. I also choose a word each year, but yours was so incredibly inspiring! And I LOVE that jumped right into showing that courage…its going to be a wonderful year for you! 🙂

  2. Awesome blog today, Amy — and I know that you absolutely will not need any of us to lovingly kick you in the pants. That’s just the kind of gal you are. Let’s start calling you The Conquerer. 🙂 (or is it Conqueror?)

  3. Amy – this is amazing!!!! I am also a petrified flyer, though so far not enough to miss out on trips. I LOVE your attitude. I don’t have kids yet, but I think often about not wanting my kids to pick up on my nervousness. You are so brave, and I know LC knows that too!!!!

  4. I cried when I read your blog- I wanted you beside me on my wedding day so badly, but I never took it personally. You are still one of my dearest and treasured friends. Please never dwell on the decisions of the past. Your decision to face your fears means so much to me– I know you can overcome anything you put your mind to- with CHRIST! That verse if so close to my heart- you ARE a conqueror! And remember– If you’re ever up for an adventure (and a longer flight!) you are always welcome in Denver! 🙂 I LOVE YOU!!

  5. Awww – sweet Amy, I’m so proud of you!! Conquering fears is a REAL step of faith and I knew you could do it! He was there holding your hand and never forget that as you continue to try new things.Your photos are beautiful from the air!

    A really long flight would bless the socks off a certain missionary!

    Love ya,
    Mrs. Sarah

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